"How much better is thy love than wine!"

My wonderful Heather sister let me borrow (practically forced into my hands) a book she loves and has been telling me to read for about a year now--and of which she got a copy for Christmas--called These Is My Words by Nancy E Turner. It's the fictional diary of Sarah Agnes Prine, her life on the Arizona Territories from 1881-1901.

I love this book for so many different reasons. The style in which it is written is just absolutely perfect for the story it is telling. All of the beautifully crafted metaphors--not really hidden but, rather, well-placed--and the parallels and foreshadowings are woven together in a way that make the story feel more realistic than forced--the mark of a great novel. The language is colorful and it breathes! It's the language of an uneducated young woman as she grows up, learning what she can from books and the people around her; it changes as she does. The characters are so deep and real and full of life. I grew to love them as my own family and I became too attached, as I always do.

Oh, my emotions were jerked all over the place! (Well, it may also have had something to do with the fact that I had PMS.) Anyway, there were many passages that tugged at my heartstrings and I cried in places and laughed in others, felt love and gentleness, and hardness and meanness. One of my favorite passages (probably because I can relate to it all too well) was the following, found on page 152:

"Sometimes I feel like a tree on a hill, at the place where all the wind blows and the hail hits the hardest. All the people I love are down the side aways, sheltered under a great rock, and I am out of the fold, standing alone in the sun and the snow. I feel like I am not part of the rest somehow, although they welcome me and are kind. I see my family as they sit together and it is like they have a certain way between them that is beyond me. I wonder if other folks ever feel included yet alone. Maybe I am getting addled living out here on the ranch."

I think I felt an immediate kinship with Sarah only because of her name (it's even spelled right). But as I read more and more, I know I felt something connecting me to this character, and when I read this passage, it was confirmed. I'm always watching my loved ones, wondering why in the world they keep welcoming me, and feeling like I don't really belong. I go about my business because it needs to be done, and I can't stop comparing myself to "Savannah."

But Sarah is so strong. She lived through some of the meanest, toughest things that could ever happen to a person. She's smart and brave and protects the people she loves. She aches and cries when her heart is broken, and she's muddled and confused about love. She's such a wonderful, complex character. One of my absolute favorites ever written.

Oh, and she writes my new favorite curse: "Low down dirty ornery rotten skunk of a cussed mule-headed soldier!" (106)

Heather, why didn't you tell me to read this sooner? Now I'm going to have to buy a copy for myself. I want to read it again right now!