THE HOST

What the heck is my problem? I think maybe I'm just a sucker for a love story. Seriously. And this one was weird and kinda disturbing...but I liked it.

Stephenie Meyer is not a very great author, but she's got an amazing imagination. She lures you in with an exotic plot line and then hits you with a love story. And it's all so corny and hokey, yet I find myself enthralled. I read the Host and laughed through the ridiculous parts, gasped in all the right places, and I even got a little emotional.

Here's the problem: she doesn't write very well. The dialog is interrupted with silly narration about what she was thinking, what he was doing, how he looked while he said this...blah blah blah. I've grown accustomed to not having to be spoon fed and I rather like it. It leaves my imagination free to decide what he or she was doing or looking like or thinking. And then the narration itself is completely destroyed by her overuse of punctuation. Now, I'm the first person to admit that I have a tendency to be a little elaborate with punctuation. But my goodness! Every sentence is interrupted by a clause! It drives me nuts! And, like I said, she spoon-feeds the story to her readers. I don't know if she thinks we're too dumb to figure things out or follow a plot-line, but she needs to just write a freakin' story without repeating herself over and over and over and over and over...you get the idea.

And still, for some reason, I find myself liking the Host and re-reading the Twilight series. I blame it on the story. I just really like the stories, the adventure, the sickening romance, and the creativity behind the plot. Like I said, I must be a sucker.

Why So Serious?

Wow. No, really.

I know most have already heard the hype, but that's the thing. It's not really over-exaggerated hype. It's well-earned, completely deserved hype. What an amazing, terrifying, and completely psychotic performance by Heath Ledger! The special effects were awesome making the action sequences really, truly breath-taking (in that you're literally holding your breath). The cinematography was extremely well done. I love all of the actors in this movie, (my heart throbs at the sight of Christian Bale and Heath Ledger--outside their costumes, of course--not to mention my love of Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, and Morgan Freeman) so maybe I'm a little biased, but they all performed well. Thank goodness for the switch from Katie Holmes to Maggie Gyllenhaal! SO much better. And I have to big major props to Christian Bale and Heath Ledger and their use of accents. You can usually tell when an Aussy or a Brit is trying to sound American, like Gary Oldman...you can still hear his accent. Oh well. He's forgiven cuz he's awesome. But Ledger and Bale, these guys don't try, they DO sound American.

It starts out scary and just gets freakier as the story goes on. There are some great parallels in the characters: Good? vs Evil? Who's really what? Some twists and turns, surprises, and parts where I actually laughed out loud (from relief and "I knew this was coming") when rescues were made. The inclusion of Harvey Dent/Two Face...brilliant, though at points a little distracting. And the Joker scared the crap out of me. I really did cover my eyes at different points.

What I found most intriguing was that there was no trace of Heath Ledger in his portrayal of the Joker. I mean, you can usually still find the actor behind the character, but Ledger was gone and all you saw and heard was the Joker. He totally stole the show.

OK, enough of my raving. Just go see it. But be prepared: it's truly freaky.

Ready for a common complaint?

Let me start by saying I'm so grateful that I'm a woman. I truly am. Being female and having all of the blessings that accompany this lot in life....

HOWEVER: I absolutely hate the painful knots and cramps in my lower abdomen every month. I hate having to wear...you know. I hate the headaches and body aches. I hate the fatigue and the bloating. I'm so uncomfortable and I just wanna go home and cry. Then sleep. Then cry some more. And eat chocolate. And bread. And then sleep and cry some more. Yeah, it's all cliche. And maybe it's really all in my head. But that's what I want.

So, I apologize if my mood is less than happy and I am less than social this weekend. I have only one phrase to indicate why: I feel like crap.