I just really, really wanna have babies. And all that comes with it. You know, like, a husband. That'd be nice.
Though, I must say, it's been very reassuring to have people in my life who had to wait a long time for these blessings as well. It gives me hope. Family members, church leaders, friends--all people I love and admire, and if they can wait, I suppose I can, too.
But I'm growing extremely impatient. And since my biological clock has been ticking since I was about 19, I think I may just shrivel up and die when I reach 30 and I'm still single and baby-less. 'Cause it's gonna happen, guys. It's only six months away, looming over my head like the countdown ball on New Year's Eve: slowly dropping, ready to squash my dreams.
I have to find something to do to distract me from my despair. Like crocheting "Tetris" scarves and "Mario" rugs and "TMNT" hats and "Pac Man" afghans. Right? Keeps my hands busy.
And reading great books. OK. If you've never read Ender's Game, you probably should. I'm only a bit over half way through it, but it's amazing. Also, The Giver is one to have on your shelf. Also, I've read the Chronicles of Narnia again, and those books are just the best. There is so much to learn from these seemingly simple stories. [Is there a Master's Degree in YA Literature? Because that's what I'd study if I could.]
I'm grateful for the good weekend I had. I was able to do a lot of fun things, and all with pretty awesome people. I'm glad I'm on the 8-5 schedule at work this week, because extra sleep is needed thanks to the stupid time change. I'm looking forward to having Friday off and spending it making pillow covers with Ashley. I'm sad I won't be going home to see my dear friend (another) Ashley get married, but circumstances beyond my control have made it impossible. Sad sad sad. But I hope she and Derek enjoy the gift we're sending. Oh, baby. (Photos will be posted. I'm particularly happy with this one.) I'm grateful for my (right now, extremely messy) apartment and the solitude is affords. It's lovely to hang around with really cool people, but it's great to go to a quite home of my own. And it's nice to be able to leave a mess for me to clean up later because I finished a project so late and was too tired to clean it up. (Maybe I'm not really ready for babies...) I'm grateful for inspired leaders who teach me that I'm not still single because of anything I've done wrong, but because I'm being molded to be the kind of wife and mother I will need to be in the future. (Three talks in two days with the same message. Someone's trying to tell me something.)
"When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessing..."
And I'm grateful for you, my family and friends (even the ones who don't read this, though I love those of you who do a little bit more than I love those of you who don't...). It'd take pages and pages and pages of internet space to list all of the people I love and the reasons I love them, so I won't bore you. But know that I love you and I'm grateful for you and I wouldn't be me without you. And I like me, so thanks.
Love to you all!
Though, I must say, it's been very reassuring to have people in my life who had to wait a long time for these blessings as well. It gives me hope. Family members, church leaders, friends--all people I love and admire, and if they can wait, I suppose I can, too.
But I'm growing extremely impatient. And since my biological clock has been ticking since I was about 19, I think I may just shrivel up and die when I reach 30 and I'm still single and baby-less. 'Cause it's gonna happen, guys. It's only six months away, looming over my head like the countdown ball on New Year's Eve: slowly dropping, ready to squash my dreams.
I have to find something to do to distract me from my despair. Like crocheting "Tetris" scarves and "Mario" rugs and "TMNT" hats and "Pac Man" afghans. Right? Keeps my hands busy.
And reading great books. OK. If you've never read Ender's Game, you probably should. I'm only a bit over half way through it, but it's amazing. Also, The Giver is one to have on your shelf. Also, I've read the Chronicles of Narnia again, and those books are just the best. There is so much to learn from these seemingly simple stories. [Is there a Master's Degree in YA Literature? Because that's what I'd study if I could.]
I'm grateful for the good weekend I had. I was able to do a lot of fun things, and all with pretty awesome people. I'm glad I'm on the 8-5 schedule at work this week, because extra sleep is needed thanks to the stupid time change. I'm looking forward to having Friday off and spending it making pillow covers with Ashley. I'm sad I won't be going home to see my dear friend (another) Ashley get married, but circumstances beyond my control have made it impossible. Sad sad sad. But I hope she and Derek enjoy the gift we're sending. Oh, baby. (Photos will be posted. I'm particularly happy with this one.) I'm grateful for my (right now, extremely messy) apartment and the solitude is affords. It's lovely to hang around with really cool people, but it's great to go to a quite home of my own. And it's nice to be able to leave a mess for me to clean up later because I finished a project so late and was too tired to clean it up. (Maybe I'm not really ready for babies...) I'm grateful for inspired leaders who teach me that I'm not still single because of anything I've done wrong, but because I'm being molded to be the kind of wife and mother I will need to be in the future. (Three talks in two days with the same message. Someone's trying to tell me something.)
"When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,
Count your many blessing..."
And I'm grateful for you, my family and friends (even the ones who don't read this, though I love those of you who do a little bit more than I love those of you who don't...). It'd take pages and pages and pages of internet space to list all of the people I love and the reasons I love them, so I won't bore you. But know that I love you and I'm grateful for you and I wouldn't be me without you. And I like me, so thanks.
Love to you all!
6 comments:
Oh, Sarah. You are amazing and beautiful and fun and talented and thoughtful and you have the best laugh ever and you're just wonderful! Just be patient. It'll happen. :) I'm sad you won't be here this weekend for the wedding. Bummer. Anyway, I freaking love you. Hang in there!!
Ha! 30! You old, sista.
I understand COMPLETETLY, baba. My big 30 is coming in 3 weeks. Insane. We can do this though. Somehow....
ENDER'S GAME!!! HOW DID I NOT KNOW YOU HADN'T READ THAT?? That's my favorite book in the world. When you finish, you MUST read Ender's Shadow. It's a companion novel that follows Bean's story. It's one of those books that makes me bawl every time I read it...even though I know what's coming. So cathartic!
Also, you are in my prayers my beautiful cousin. I love, love, love you and I miss you. You are amazing.
I stalk all my childrens blogs - thanks for this one, Dad and I pray for our beautiful daughters all the time. I figure if I bother the Lord enough he will get tired of me asking and take care of this!!!. Sis. Judd is returning home in a few weeks - have your returned her "book"? ;)
jus sayin.
Love you
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